Wednesday, 24 November 2010

The Boy With No Shoes

DAY 69

Twice a year, Ell and me assist on a 3 day workshop in Liverpool. 'The Awakening' is a mind changing roller coaster ride from fear to love. I had agreed to captain a team of assistants, whose job is to hold the space for the participants as they make that life transforming dash to the other side.
The epic road trip ‘Up North’ is always one to savour. Ell and me usually split the drive depending on who is saner at the time. Being an older car Winston prefers to take things slowly. This makes for a delightful journey with lots of time to wave at other motorists, take extended pee breaks and drink tall skinny lattés. Sometimes, Ell and me drive along quietly, and other times we listen to beautiful music, and chat about the mystery of it all. Occasionally, I reach over and place my hand in hers, and my heart is filled with gratitude. It is simple things such as these, that make my limited time here on earth worthwhile.

DAY 68

We spent the night, and part of the following day at Mums in Darwen, Lancashire, playing catch up, dejunking her computer and setting up ‘that skype’ so that she could re-contact with Ivy -her only remaining sister.  When Mum discovered ‘that skype ‘was up and running, she grinned from ear to ear, and I had a moment of pure inspiration;

Two minds with one intent become so strong that what they will becomes the Will of  'that Skype.'

Sometimes, I sit in Dad’s armchair and quietly reflect ( the same armchair that he was sat in when he told me he was diagnosed with ‘that lung cancer’) Dad often sat and stared out of the window with a faraway teary look in his eyes. He believed that he was robbed of a childhood; tried to make things right by spending lots of time in the shed.

Here is a picture of Dad in the shed , which I made in April 2006 ...

Whenever, I walk into Dads shed and pick up his work tools, I sense his gentle spirit, and weep for the 6 year old boy who had no shoes; left to fend for himself. This mans shed became his sanctuary, where he could shelter from the harsh winds of time and ‘iron things out.’ I felt drawn to a certain screwdriver, and decided to take it with me, to add to the cycle toolkit.

That afternoon we made the journey to Liverpool . Gail had kindly given us a place to stay for 3 nights. - a retreat from all things workshop.

Gail is a delicate soul - a beautiful woman with a big heart. Her dwelling place is quaint. We drank tea, had a banter, and then she left to spend  the weekend with a friend..

This meant that Ell and me had the whole place to ourselves. WOW!

We had a candlelit bath together, made sensual love, meditated, and read A Course in Miracles. Ahhhh ...

'Fear is stranger to the ways of Love.'



  1. Big sighs over here...sounds dreamy & so purely true & beautiful. I am thankful for you, Nige, and your sweet, sweet Elloa.

    So beautiful of you to share it all.

    Sending you both all of the love in my heart.

  2. Nige... you so beautifully captured the essence of last week for me. Thank you. I got shivers as I read this (you know that already - you were there! I'm just saying it again for fun!)

    I love you dearly. You are one of God's teachers of fierce wisdom and grace xxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. There is so much beauty here, and I so thank you for sharing it. Heaven on earth, encompassing all of it, birth, death, and everything in between, especially those very real moments to be cherished and celebrated right then and there.