Sunday, 28 November 2010

Chasing the Crunchy Nut Dragon

DAY 64

During the drive back to Gail’s flat , Ell stopped off at a convenience store to pick up some milk. As I sat waiting in the car, I noticed a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes sitting on the top shelf through the window like a dirty magazine. (Crunchy Nut is an addictive breakfast cereal made with flakes of corn, honey, large quantities of sugar and chopped peanuts.) 

'Gimme Gimme Gimme a Crunchy Nut after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the craving away
Gimme gimme gimme a Crunchy Nut after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day' - ABBA 

I often wonder if rehabilitation centres actually exist for Crunchy Nut dependency...

Hello, my name is Nige, and I’m addicted to Crunchy Nut!

People from all walks of life are chasing the crunchy nut dragon; This involves placing powdered crunchy nut on baking foil and heating it from below with a lighter. The crunchy nut turns to a sticky liquid and wriggles around like a Chinese dragon, hence the name Crunchy Nut Dragon . Sugary fumes of corn, sugar and peanuts are given off and are inhaled through a rolled up back issue of Miracle Worker.

One thing is for certain; Crunchy Nut abuse destroys lives.

Moderation is impossible. Complete abstinence is the only way forward.

DAY 63

'Say f**k it and have the courage to get to know yourself'


  1. You witnessed me laughing SO HARD at this. One thing I have to be honest about is that Crunchy Nut addiction changed you. You began to live only for the crunchy nut. I thought I'd lost you forever, especially when I saw you using back issues of the Miracle Worker to get your fix. But luckily, God brought you back from the brink.


  2. This was so funny! Thank you for the laugh this morning! Glad I've never encountered Crunchy Nut, although, I'm sure we have something similar. My substance of choice is derived from the cocoa bean.