Saturday 22 January 2011

Finding My Lotus Before The Winter



 DAY 4

As the moment of death approaches I can feel myself trembling as I stare at the picture album of my life and all that it has been. 42 years of shit and sunshine flash before my eyes. Did I find my lotus before the winter, or will I die with my dream unrealized?

When Dad was diagnosed with 'that lung cancer' he was dragged kicking and screaming to his knees. In the beginning, he struggled to leave behind the familiar life he once knew. (See below for a photograph of Dad looking grumpy as he set out on the path to find his lotus before the winter.)


However, in the 104 days that followed Pops found himself walking the road less travelled, and as the days progressed, the edges of his heart began to soften and expand,and slowly but surely everything superficial  faded away to reveal the only thingy worth remembering in this lifetime ... LOVE.  (See below for a photograph of Dad looking happy after finding his lotus before the winter.)


The mind does nothing but talk and ask questions, and search for meanings.
The heart does not talk, does not ask questions, does not search for meanings.
It silently moves toward God and surrenders itself to Him.
Francis of Assis


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3 comments:

  1. Brooke 22 January 2011 at 18:06

    Oh, beautiful post Nige. I LOVE the quote. You have 'mighty companions' who will be there in this new space. Thank you for reminding me that the lotus exists whether we see it realized or not--in the heart. Have no fear.

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  2. Elloa23 January 2011 at 13:14

    I said to you the other day Nige... I am so glad you got these pics of your Pops in there before the end of the experiment.

    My heart is moving silently towards God this evening as I surrender to the goodbye that is imminent between us.

    LOVE the lotus concept... beautiful xxx

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  3. Julia23 January 2011 at 20:39

    "The heart does not talk, does not ask questions, does not search for meanings.
    It silently moves toward God and surrenders itself to Him."

    Big exhale here. Yes...this is what I want, now & forever, to silently move toward, to surrender completely. I love this.

    So very happy that your sweet dad found his lotus. It is clear that you have too, my friend.

    Love & more Love.

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