DAY 14
Recently, I have been contemplating the art of dying consciously using a last breath meditation from Stephen Levines book ' A Year To Live'. This business of 'conscious dying' may at first seem like a morbid obsession, but during the last few weeks I have discovered the opposite; that fear of death begets fear of life.
Seeing Dad's body at the funeral parlour helped me to get a better grasp on the temporary nature of life in a body. I was standing over a wooden box staring at the empty shell which Dad had inhabited for 79 years, before abandoning in favour of the light.
I take each breath as though it were the last. And at the end of each and every out breath there is a moment of stillness. Holding onto nothing. Letting go of the last breath, edges melting, letting the light body float free, dissolving into the vastness of space.
Making the decision to face the fear of death has opened my eyes to living, perhaps more fully than ever before.
In the beginning , I found myself resisting the process, clinging to sameness- even though I knew it was holding me back. Fortunately, as the practice of dying has deepened, the dark edges are softening, and I am experiencing flashes of unwavering clarity - revealing the universal love that connects us all.
It's safe to let go and surrender into what is.
‘The Holy Spirit leads me unto Christ, and where else would I go? What need have I but to awake in him’. - ACIM
Nige, I am enjoying being a part of your journey to deepen into death. It seems that the experience culminates as we near the end, and transforms naturally into something much greater and larger than us, than we could initially imagine. I was so moved by my own journey last year that I am leading a group of folks through this journey via tele-conference calls. We started last night and will call in each month until January 11, 2012. Already, I feel the depth of the movement within the group. What a powerful teacher death is, when we are able to not only embrace it but surrender to it... I honor your willingness, your courage and your light.
ReplyDeleteYour words and your BEing-ness are such a comfort to me, Nige. I feel you & Elloa walking along beside me & what a beautiful, sweet gift that is.
ReplyDeleteI so admire your willingness to keep showing up for what is real & true.
"It's safe to let go and surrender into what is." Thank you for continually reminding me of this...
What do I think?
ReplyDeleteI think you are beautiful x
"It's safe to let go and surrender into what is."
ReplyDeleteI echo Julia. Thank you for continually letting me know this.
I too am learning deeply that coming to terms with our fear of death, brings us back to life. Amazing.